Hope for the Fatherless
'Father to the fatherless, and defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.’ Psalm 68:5
The Christian faith calls us to take the issue of fatherlessness seriously.
In light of family breakdown, absent fathers, and a lack of positive male role models, the Christian charity, Chapter2 was set up “to give every boy a good man to guide him into adulthood”.
Working with the church, the aim is to provide a male mentor and a community of men for boys growing-up without a father, and in so doing, provide a way for churches to become an active part of the solution to a significant crisis in our society.
The Current Landscape
Around 2 million children in the UK currently have no meaningful contact with their father, and the trend is increasing. It is at the time of family breakdown that boys usually lose contact with their father.
Chapter2 never wants to diminish the vital importance faithful mothers play in their son’s lives, but rather to support the family unit by offering additional support from outside the home.
In years gone by, male role models may have been easier to find in school, or third sector settings, but now with only 15% of primary school teachers, men, boys increasingly struggle to locate role models they can identify with.
Added to this we see a trend toward more individualistic societies, where increased digital communication and lone working all add to the distance between boys and the male community they need to thrive.
Boys need a tried and tested path to follow, but without a father, and often starved of positive interactions with men in general, they can find themselves lost in 'men deserts'. Lacking good role models many boys are then left to discover masculinity for themselves. Sadly this will often bring confusion and failure.
Many boys find themselves on an alternative path; too often it is gangs and the behaviour of peers that fill the void and create an unhealthy route into adulthood. A 2009 report* on street gangs provided clear evidence that family breakdown, and in particular fatherlessness, appeared to be a key driver of gang culture. Following street riots in London and Manchester in 2011, the Daily Telegraph noted that a common denominator amongst the rioters was that they were gang members without a father at home.
More than three quarters of young people in custody have an absent father and prisons have become centres for dad-deprived boys. Sadly here, some will end their own lives, and this in a context more generally where suicide has become the number one killer of British men aged under 45.
The Call
Chapter2, brings hope in very practical ways to improve well-being and self-esteem. The majority of referrals received come via the local council, keen to work with a local churche already actively engaged with supporting the community around them.
Chapter2 works with the local church, to train and equip dedicated adult male mentors. The mentors are at the heart of the work, providing a 1-2-1 relational response for boys, to whom the unspoken message of an absent father has been “you do not matter.” This false message can be reversed by the constant and unconditional presence of an adult male mentor. The best antidote to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem is consistent long term engagement. Whether the words are spoken or not, a boy will then come to experience that “he matters”.
Healthy masculine behaviours need to be demonstrated rather than taught or commanded, and the pathways for boys to grow can be most powerfully shown through practical and challenging activities. Learning new practical skills is of tremendous value for a boy struggling with low self-esteem.
Alongside individual mentoring, organised group activities help support the development of personal relationships in practical and fun environments. The activities Chapter2 use are designed to challenge, develop trust and build sef-esteem, and could be as simple as playing football in the park, or offering the chance to learn a brand new skill (recent activities have included high ropes courses, archery, fishing, and even bushcraft!).
If your church is interested in reaching some of the most vulnerable families in your community, then partnering with Chapter2 could be the solution. They have all the expertise to help you develop a mentoring programme in your local area and, once established, the partnership with Chapter2 continues, enabling local teams to benefit from their experience. Mentors (who do not need previous experience) are fully trained, with continuing assessment and supervision.
Find more information on the Chapter2 website, or check out more stories on the Facebook page here, including how you can be involved in the Father’s Day challenge.
If you’re local to Reading and want to walk, run, or provide support on the day of the 100KM Challenge along the Ridgeway, there is still time to sign up or support (click here).
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Written by Richard Wilson (Jubilee+ Volunteer)
